Pawn Promoted
by magicsmith
Summary: Was a oneshot, now a twoshot. On her return from Soul Society, Rukia visits Urahara at his shop to 'thank him' for his help. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters._

This takes place just after Rukia returns to the human world after the first attack by the arrancar.

**Pawn Promoted**

"_And should I have the right to smile?" T.S. Eliot_

"Lecherous Leech." A large crash indicated something else had fallen, or been pushed.

"Scum sucking sycophant." A box of sweets spilled on the floor.

"Manipulative arrogant creep." A close call when the blade nearly sliced into flesh.

"Pig dog." A glass jar crashed to the floor, the round object within, adding to the mess.

"Perverted jerk." The blade of the zanpaku-to smashed through a glass display cabinet.

"Son of a diseased warthog." Crash.

"Ferret fancier." Bang.

"Parasitic politician. Ratbag." Rancid, evil, aimless sot. Wanker. Cream faced loon. Merciless tormenter. Devil. Creator of infernal plots. Hollow lover. Arrancar admirer. Swaggering ruffian. Smeg head. Fink."

At each insult another crash reverberated through the shop. Kisuke Urahara kept ducking and dodging as Rukia Kuchiki tried to kill him. The shop was a shambles. Every time Urahara ducked, Rukia broke something and yelled another insult.

'Won't you help me, Yoruichi?" Urahara sounded a little concerned, as he brought up his zanpaku-to, still in its scabbard, to defend against the next blow.

Yoruichi sighed. "Why should I? You shouldn't have presented her with the bill for the gigai. She has a right to express how she feels. In some ways I agree with her. Don't ask me for help?" The former Captain of 2nd Division was in cat form, sitting in the doorway of the Shouten, watching the destruction disinterestedly.

"Renji?" Urahara was getting worried now, as more stock in his shop was destroyed.

"I had to clean up your mess before this. Why would I help? If anything I'll help Rukia." Renji smiled as he watched Rukia smash a large jar of some sticky substance. Urahara almost slipped in the new spill as he dodged yet another swipe at his head. His hat fell of and his eyes were now visible. They displayed a slight touch of panic.

"Stop asking for assistance and fight me, you disgusting piece of offal." Rukia was closer to Urahara and he backed away hurriedly.

"Why don't we talk about this quietly? I'll make some tea. Or you can have some beer. Whiskey? Sake? Would you like cake? Chocolate?" Urahara watched unhappily as Rukia destroyed more stock at each suggestion. The floor was sticky and slippery at the same time. He did not know how long it would take to clean.

"I'm not here on a social visit, you pustulant purveyor of putrid potions. I'm here to kill you. Do you understand now?" Rukia was becoming angrier with each item she destroyed. Her intention was to destroy the shop keeper, not the shop.

"Where are you getting all the insults from?" Urahara asked.

"I had to study Shakespeare at school. I blame you for that too. We had to study alliteration as well. Stop moving around so much, you feckless fool." Rukia was getting closer. Urahara ducked behind a table.

"But why are you so angry with me? I don't understand." Urahara seemed scared. His voice sounded unnaturally high and he finally removed his zanpaku-to from it's sheathe preparing to defend himself. Rukia knocked it from his hands, far from his reach. His eyes widened with shock as his hand started to bleed. How had she done that?

"Why? You dare to ask me why I'm angry with you. It's more than anger. It is pure rage you snivelling sneaky snot. I'm amazed you have to ask why I'm trying to kill you." Rukia paused in her attack. She had trouble believing that Urahara would be even slightly bemused at her anger.

"Tell me." Urahara was trying to build a barricade while Rukia was distracted.

"Do you want the list? The gigai that stopped me from regaining spirit energy, for a start. The little device you planted in me. My near execution in Seireitei. Aizen's attempt to kill me to get the Hyogyoku. The arrancar, we can't overlook them. Overcharging me for everything I bought in this horrible dive. Kon, I can't forget Kon. Remember what you did to Ichigo? Half shinigami, half hollow? You didn't even get me the Chappy pill holder, until later. Are they enough reasons you spineless bottom feeding worm?" Rukia noticed the barricade and was attacking it, ferociously.

"I sent a rescue party. I did try to save you, and you were saved. You're here now, alive, fully restored." Urahara was clutching at straws as he kept adding to the barricade. Maybe Rukia would tire soon and go away.

"A rescue party! Yes. A rescue party of my friends. You sent them to rescue me? Another lie, Urahara. Pariah. You sent them to retrieve the Hyogyoku. You put them at risk. And it failed. They rescued me, but Aizen got the Hyogyoku. Ichigo, Renji, me, we all nearly died because of you. You've caused so much pain. Ichigo can't control his hollow and you can't or won't help him. Uryu sacrificed his powers and now he seems to have lost his identity as well. He always thought of himself as a Quincy and now he's just an ordinary teenager. How many lives did you tamper with? How any people have you hurt? If it was so important, why didn't you join the group?" Rukia was almost overcome with emotion as she spoke. Her body was rigid and her voice shook with anger.

"I thought about it, but couldn't find someone to take care of the shop at such short notice." Urahara answered vaguely as he tried to use kido to reinforce the barrier.

Rukia shrieked with rage at his comment and redoubled her efforts in destroying the barrier. Wood chips flew as the furniture placed as a barrier was cut to pieces. "Come out of there, you useless reject. Let my zanpaku-to feast on your blood. For a former captain, you're not displaying much courage. What happened? Did you lose your nerve with the loss of your captaincy?" Rukia had managed to remove the top layer of the barricade, making it possible to almost cut the shop keeper's face.

Urahara bridled at the words. "You really want to fight me? I don't like fighting women. I prefer a different form of combat." Unconsciously he leered at Rukia who tried to cut his mouth with her blade. He leant his head back, just in time to prevent his mouth smiling wider than nature intended.

'You scheming, sickening skunk. I'm not interested in your nasty mind and skinny underdeveloped body. Fight me properly." Rukia was white with anger and her eyes blazed, reflecting her fury.

"His body isn't that bad. Not undeveloped at all." Yoruichi's comment went unnoticed by Rukia.

"You wouldn't be able to defend yourself against my attack. I won't fight you. Fight Renji or Ichigo if you're that desperate for a fight. And I'm not underdeveloped." Urahara was indignant at her comments regarding his figure.

"I don't want to fight Renji or Ichigo. I want t kill you. Come out from there and let me kill you. Just die, you inadequate excuse for a shinigami. I want to watch you bleed a pretty scarlet colour all over my blade." By this time, Rukia had nearly destroyed the obstacle.

"Okay, instead of killing me, I'll give you a special discount. 50 deducted from every purchase for the next 6 months. And a frequent shopper card that gives you free Chappy merchandise for every 6 items you purchase in the store. I have a Chappy alarm clock you can have now. I'll even stop looking when you bathe." Urahara was now fraught. He didn't want to fight Rukia. In many ways he liked Rukia, and he wanted to tidy up his shop. He'd lost a lot of stock. He didn't want potential customers to be disgusted by the mess that was his place of business.

"You mean she was right? You did watch her?" Renji was on his feet, his hand on his zanpaku-to as he spoke.

"Kisuke. I think we may need to have a talk. You told me you blocked that peephole months ago." Yoruichi appeared very unhappy at the unexpected revelation.

"I'm pleased I don't have to bathe here anymore, you bizarre crawler. Ichigo's father may be weird, but at least he doesn't try to see me naked. You better watch it Renji. Maybe he likes looking at naked males." Rukia had managed to remove the last of the barrier. She advanced on Urahara.

Renji had turned white and then red. "You spied on Rukia! You jerk." He moved toward the shopkeeper. "I want to kill you. You are scum."

"It was a joke. I'm sorry." Urahara was now backed against the wall, the tip of Rukia's zanpaku-to at his throat.

"Don't interfere Renji. This is my fight. Urahara, I don't find any of this funny. You finally apologise, but not for the right reason. Now you die. Do you have any last words?"

"Rukia. I am your father." Urahara looked at her pleadingly.

"Nice try, but I've seen _Star Wars_. I'm no more your daughter than I'm Chad's girlfriend." Blood began to well under the zanpaku-to as Rukia pressed the point in deeper.

"That's a relief. I'm pleased you're not Chad's girlfriend. Are you going to kill him fast, or will this take all day?" Renji was interested in the next move Rukia would make.

"Why waste your time killing me? You will feel guilt. Guilt feels bad. Don't kill me. I might be able to help in the fight against the arrancar." Urahara played what he thought was his trump card.

"I don't care about the guilt. I don't care about you, except to crave your death."

"But you do care about the guilt. Remember the guilt you felt when Kaien died? It took you months to recover from that. You still haven't forgiven yourself, no matter what you say." Urahara dropped his façade and spoke to Rukia seriously.

"But I loved Kaien. He was my friend. I admired him. Why would I feel bad if I killed you? You deserve to die." Rukia faltered. The mention of Kaien's name shook her. Urahara had chosen an effective method to make her pause. "How do you know about Kaien?"

Urahara looked at Rukia steadily. "I know many things about you, Rukia. I did some research."

"You mean you tried to find ways to manipulate me. I'm sick of being one of the pawns, Urahara. I am not a piece in this game you're playing." Rukia dropped her blade from the shopkeeper's throat, her shoulders slumping wearily. The mention of Kaien and the guilt she still felt at his death worked against her desire to kill Urahara. He was right that he might help in the fight against the arrancar. These two factors worked against her desire for his death.

"You're not going to kill him? After all that, you're not going to even hurt him?" In amazement Renji watched Rukia turn away from Urahara.

At his words, Rukia turned around and slapped Urahara hard, across the face and then punched him in the stomach. Urahara bent over clutching his stomach. Rukia kicked him in the solar plexus and he crumpled onto the floor, groaning. Bending over she slapped, punched and kicked him. He did not resist. As she beat Urahara, she realised that hurting him did not help. Rukia still felt anger at the man, but the mention of Kaien's name had resurrected her guilt. She wanted to cry but not here. It was important that Urahara did not know how successfully he had influenced her. Maybe shedding tears would help her feelings of anger, guilt and grief.

She straightened up; her eyes were bright, shimmering in the illumination of the shop. "I accept your paltry offer, gutter trash, but this isn't over. I won't kill you now because we may need you. I can't forgive what you did to me and Ichigo. I can't excuse how you treat everyone as if we are no more than chess pieces that you can use until we're removed from play, or we die. You'd better hope I die before this is over. If I don't, I'll kill you soon afterward." With those final words, Rukia hurriedly left the shop, Renji following.

"You didn't try to fight her, did you?" Yoruichi came close to Urahara as he lay on the floor.

"Why do you think that? Didn't you see her try to kill me? I tried to defend myself. Why would I permit someone to attack me that way?" The shopkeeper slowly got to his feet. He surveyed the mess with a wry look on his face and tutted at his filthy clothes. His face bore the imprint of Rukia's hand and he touched his injured body gingerly.

"I know you Kisuke. You let her work off her anger. Admit it. You feel guilty. I heard you mention that guilt feels bad. That must mean you feel guilty. You could have disarmed her earlier. Instead you let her destroy your shop and beat you. You didn't even try to protect yourself." Yoruichi moved closer, morphing into human form. She looked into Urahara's eyes. "I know you feel guilty. You should feel responsible. We all could have died."

Urahara shrugged, a weary, unconvincing smile on his face. "But no one died. It matters little. Guilt? What is guilt? I don't feel guilt. I just feel relief that the female tornado has left the shop standing. Why would I let her ruin my stock? I'm a business man." He rubbed his eyes jadedly. "Are you going to help me clean up?"

"No. It's your mess, Urahara. I don't wish to help you clear up another one. I'm still angry about the peephole. I'm angry about the lies. I feel sorry for Rukia." Briskly, Yoruichi left the shop.

Urahara stood in the middle of his place of business. He picked up his hat, covered with myriad substances from shattered containers, and looked at it distastefully. "I should have expected this. Oh well. Let's hope Rukia survives. It's fun being chased around by an attractive female, even is she's trying to kill you."

His face contorted in an expression of pain as he thought about all the events that had led to this moment. He was responsible.

In the coming fight against the arrancar, all had to survive, including Rukia and Renji. The guilt would be unbearable if any of them died.

_Author's note_

It has always interested me that Rukia does not seem to resent Urahara when he was the cause of her close encounter with death. It seemed odd. This story was inspired by a conversation between Rukia and Ichigo in _Hollow Charm. _In that Rukia expresses her anger at being one of the pawns. I wondered how she would react when she finally saw Urahara again. That is the idea behind this story. It was originally meant to be funny, but became darker as I wrote it. I liked the chess analogy and decided to keep it.

In the game of chess, a pawn is promoted if it succeeds in moving from one side of the chessboard to the other. A promoted pawn can become a queen, bishop, etc. That is the origin of the title of this story.

Smeg is a swear word from the BBC television series, _Red Dwarf_. It is a great word and concept. You use it to replace obscene language. A idiot becomes a smegging idiot. Or, instead of blaspheming, you can say Oh, my Smeg.

Please review.


	2. Queen's Pawn

_Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters._

**Queen's Pawn**

Renji ran to catch up with Rukia. He grabbed her by the arm and she spun around, hand outstretched to slap him. "Don't touch me Urahara. I don't want to see you," she said as she turned.

Seeing who had caught her arm, she dropped her hand. She looked at him and then, without warning, she broke down. Tears streamed down her face.

"What the hell is going on, Rukia? You should have killed the guy. I would have." Renji asked hastily. He hated it when she cried.

Rukia shook her head, dashing the tears from her cheeks with her hand. "You don't understand. I was so angry with Urahara. I didn't really want to kill him. I never wanted to kill him. I wanted him to apologise. I just wanted him to say he was sorry. Ichigo said he told Urahara to apologise. Urahara said he would. He didn't. It hurt." As she spoke Rukia kept wiping her face. Renji removed his headband and offered it to her. She took it gratefully and dabbed at her eyes.

"Then why did you tell him you would kill him? Why did you say that once this was over, if you survived you, would return and kill him? You don't normally threaten something you don't mean. Every time you threaten me, you carry out your threats." Renji's face expressed his confusion. He was frowning in concentration and looking at Rukia intently as if he did not recognise her.

"I wanted him to think. I wanted him to realise that his actions had started this whole chain of events. I'm hurting for Ichigo. I'm hurting for you and the other people who got dragged into this mess. None of this seems to be affecting him. He just smiles, runs his business and makes vague promises. It hasn't touched him." Rukia was crying steadily. "I hated beating him. It made me feel worse. If only there was something I could have done to prevent this. Why didn't you just kill me when you came to return me to Seireitei? It would have made this so much easier. None of this would have happened. I wish you'd killed me. Then Ichigo would not be part hollow and Aizen would never have got the Hyogyoku. All I feel is regret." Rukia gazed, through her tears, at the horizon as if imagining how life for everyone else would have improved if she had died. She smiled bitterly at her thoughts.

"You're talking crap again. I never intended to kill you. I was trying to scare you. I didn't understand what as going on." Renji protested against her desire for death and then paused as he realised what he was saying. "You never intended to kill Urahara. I see it now. You were trying to work off your anger and your feeling of frustration. Oh, Rukia. Why didn't you tell me? Why do you do these things?" Renji tried to embrace his friend, but she put her hands against his chest and did not allow him to get any closer.

"I don't want to be comforted. I don't think it is possible at the moment. Please, leave me alone. I want to think this through." Rukia squared her shoulders and walked away from Renji. Renji watched her leave, knowing it was pointless to follow. Rukia would not listen to reason until later.

As she left Renji, she was determined that once she was over her outburst of rage and sorrow, it would not affect her again. She doubted if Urahara would apologise and she would have to come to terms with that. Nothing could change the present. Without watching where she was going she wandered alone on the rooftops of the town. Vaguely she noticed people moving through their lives without knowing the events that were unfolding around them. They were all so concerned with their own lives they did not want to think about anything that did not directly affect them. People, just being people.

The sun was beginning to set and she had still not worked out her feelings. If anything she was more confused than before. Anger and sadness were combined in an abrasive mixture that made her feel nauseous. Her tears had dried but her eyes felt hot and scratchy and her nose was slightly swollen. She would have to wash Renji's headband before she returned it. The inconsequential thoughts passed through her mind as she searched her mind for an answer. There had to be an answer.

With a start she noticed she had returned to the scene of her earlier destruction, the shop. From what she could see, the shop was still not suitable to be a place of business. Debris littered the floor. Urahara was outside, carrying a bag full of rubbish. He stood eerily still when he noticed her approach.

"The shop is still a mess. You'll have to wait before you return to break things. There is little left to break." His lips hardly moved as he spoke. A hat was on his head, shading his eyes so that she could not see his expression.

"I didn't return for that." Rukia spoke through lips that were strangely stiff. She had not meant to return, but she was here.

"Do you want to kill me now?" Urahara asked the question as blandly as if he was asking what she thought of the weather.

"No. I did not return to kill you." Her lips were still stiff and she felt an ache in her throat.

Urahara dropped the bag he was holding and spread his hands. "I'm sorry. I should have apologised earlier. Ichigo did advise me that I should, but it went against my instincts and my pride. I did use you and Ichigo. My actions have put us all at risk. I don't ask for your forgiveness. It is too soon for that. Believe me, I will try to help." He pushed his hat back and Rukia saw that, for once, the expression in his eyes was sincere.

Rukia had not expected the apology. It had been what she had been seeking, but for some reason, it came as an anti-climax. Her emotions had been drained and she felt numb as if this was happening to someone else.

"I've been waiting for you to apologise." Yoruichi appeared from around the corner. "It took you long enough, Kisuke. Now you can apologise to me." She crossed her arms and regarded her lover with narrowed eyes.

"That I may do, later, in private. For now, that is the only apology I will make. I don't want to get into the habit now, do I? Otherwise people will expect it all the time. No, one apology a month is my limit, and not always then." An unconvincing smile curved Urahara's mouth. "The discount offer still holds, Miss Kuchiki. Come by tomorrow and I will give you the Chappy alarm clock. Fortunately, that survived your frenzy of destruction."

Rukia nodded and left without saying anything further. She would go back to the Kurosaki household. The day had been too long and she longed for sleep and oblivion.

_

* * *

Author's note:_

I know that Pawn Promoted was meant to be a one-shot, but it appears that I thought I had included something, which was either not obvious, or only in my mind.

Rather than rewrite the story, I decided to add a short chapter. Unfortunately, I wrote this on a particularly bad day and apologise for the soggy nature of this chapter.

Review please.


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